Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
