Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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