Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
