I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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