He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
