I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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