This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
