Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
