so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
