Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
