Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
