she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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