I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
