Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
