you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
