Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
