he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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