3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
