At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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