i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
