The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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