You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
