there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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