Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
