We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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