and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?