walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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