why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love