Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
