We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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