The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
