Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
