Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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