A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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