Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
