what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
