I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
