can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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