are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
