He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
