She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
