It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize