Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You are the jesus of drinking
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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