party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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