Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
