we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize