Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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