i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
