someone threw a dead crab at me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This baby is an asshole
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
