Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
