No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
