Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sorry about my life...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
