i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We are all done wearing pants today
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