His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
