No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize