Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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