Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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