But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
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My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
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I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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