i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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