i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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