oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
