Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
