Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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