sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How does it feel to date your dad?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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