You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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